Note: I don’t claim to be an authority…LOL, but I thought I’d share my thoughts on the subject and how I approach it.

It seems like a lot of things we’re taught NOT to do in writing can all be boiled down to just a few words: Use the five senses. Yeah, I know that sounds simplistic and it certianly took me a while to get to the point where those four little words made sense, but consider the following writing rule as an example…

SHOW don’t TELL

Okay, so what do I mean by THE FIVE SENSES as they relate to the SHOW vs TELL?

This rule basically says…SHOW me the scene, don’t TELL me the scene. Sounds simple enough, right? The truth is, it’s very easy to slip into “telling” without realizing it. The best way to remember not to do this is to use the five senses to guide you away from “telling” a scene. As an example:

Instead of this…

The door slammed behind Rachel. She walked into the dark nightclub and smelled the mix of perfume and aftershaves comingled with sweat. The scent almost overwhelmed her as she peered into the dim light.

She had the name. Now to find the face.

Use the five senses to write the scene and bring it alive…

Rachel’s heart jerked when the nightclub’s door closed with a heavy thump behind her. The patrons gyrating on the lit-up dance floor had a face…unlike the others sitting in the shadows in the recesses of the room. With each step she took toward the crowd, her chest constricted in time to the music’s steady increasing beat. Her eyes watered from the strong mix of floral perfumes, spicy aftershaves and sweat in the air. She wriggled her nose to head off a sneeze and narrowed her gaze on the shadowy forms beyond the dance floor.

She had the name. Now to find the face.

In the second example above…do you “feel” it more? Feel like you’re there? I didn’t address pacing in the example I gave. I just addressed showing vs telling, but as far pacing goes, keep in mind that if the scene is supposed to be fast paced/high emotion, etc. then the long sentences I provided would need to be chopped up to “SHOW” your scene’s quicker pace as well.

Any authors reading this blog, feel free to give your 2 cents on how you make sure you SHOW vs TELL in your own writing. I’m all ears…er…eyes. I’m always looking for new ways to approach my writing.

In the meantime, I’ll post the five senses and ping pong POV tomorrow.